Monday, 28 January 2013 12:55 Written by Steven Farmer

I’m continually amazed and delighted whenever I come across stories of how we human beings can work together, how we’re able to put aside perceived differences and collaborate for the greater good. Here in Laguna Beach there are a handful of community gardens, plots of land where some residents of the city have come together to create a bounty of vegetables that are in turn shared with one another and the rest of the community. When the downtown area was flooded just a few short years ago, many came together to clean up the debris and mud that had piled up on a main stretch of Pacific Coast Highway.

There are many more tales of how we cooperate to either get things done or help each other out after a crisis. We’re rapidly moving into an era that will require greater cooperation amongst us human beings if we are to resolve the critical issues that are facing us. Our western society is so steeped in the value of competition that it requires a complete revision of our thinking, values, and attitudes, both individually and collectively.

Bruce Lipton, author of Biology of Belief, states, “. . . you are in truth a cooperative community of approximately fifty trillion single-celled citizens. Almost all of the cells that make up your body are amoeba-like, individual organisms that have evolved a cooperative strategy for their mutual survival.” This is but one example of how, even at the cellular level, cooperation is innate and serves the survival of the human being.
Dolphins are excellent models of cooperative behavior. They work together as a pod to gather fish for their meals, and also have been known to help stranded boats and swimmers. So it’s no surprise that Dolphin spirit would be the one to promote the value of cooperation in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards. Following is the message from Dolphin for children in the guidebook that accompanies the cards:

I’m sure there are times when you need a little help from your parents or your friends, and just the same, there are times when someone needs your help. Offering to help or asking someone if they need help can make you feel good. It’s an act of kindness and often leads to the same kinds of favors being returned to you. It’s particularly rewarding when you are part of a group that is helping each other out, such as in team sports like soccer, but it doesn’t have to be only at those times or in those places. 
Right now it’s an important time to cooperate with others in getting things done. Cooperate means to operate together. For instance, when you’re playing a game with friends, taking turns and trying to be as fair as possible with everyone, including yourself. You can help your parents out too by asking them how you can help. See what happens when you use teamwork to play or to get things done. It makes it easier and more fun for everyone!

As with the other cards in this deck, there are ideas for things to do that will support the idea of cooperating with others.

* Help out a friend who is troubled or is having a problem.
* Whenever your parents tell you what to do, cooperate with them.
* Whenever you have a disagreement or even a fight, try to work things out by finding a solution that will work for everyone by compromising.
* In any teamwork, do your best to play fair and get along with others

And as well, along with ideas as to how parents can help their children use these cards, there are suggestions for parents as to how to implement

* When fights break out with siblings or friends, guide them in finding a solution that works for everyone.
* Ask for your child’s help with things that are within the scope of their developmental capabilities and when they do help, thank them.
* With you child in the room, tell someone else about how they helped you out.
* Let your child see you cooperating with other people.

As is the case for “peace begins with me,” so it is true with cooperation. By incorporating this as a priority, modeling it, and encouraging this with your children, there is great promise that we can evolve to a kinder, more compassionate world.

Monday, 28 January 2013 12:50 Written by Steven Farmer

Throughout life we will go through many changes—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually—yet the most dramatic occur during infancy and adolescence, the two periods where growth is the most rapid. In the first six months of life a human baby will develop more than at any other point in her life, gaining . . . . Following this there are a few years of slower growth until the second surge during adolescence, where dramatic changes in the body, the mind, and the heart occur along with the issues inherent with this second spurt of growth.

Of course growth and changes occur throughout our lives—the challenge is to flow with these changes. Whether it’s the physical, mental, and emotional changes that naturally occur as we journey along our life path or the continual shifting of our surroundings and circumstances to which we have to adjust, it’s in our best interests to embrace these and find ways to flow with them and integrate them into our lives. Resisting them has the potential to create unnecessary suffering.

There are times throughout life when we go through such big changes that they are rightly called transformations, for which the butterfly offers the perfect symbol and metaphor. Through the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, In the guidebook that accompanies the cards, Butterfly spirit offers her wise counsel and encourages children to move gracefully through these changes that are a natural part of life:

I started out as a caterpillar, but after wrapping myself in a cocoon for a while, I came out all pretty and started flitting about. Nature took its course. It took awhile, but then big changes like this usually do. You’re going through these kinds of changes right now. You may still feel like a caterpillar or like you’re in a cocoon, but get ready! Lots of things are changing as you grow up. Aside from your body changing and growing, a lot is happening inside you too—all a part of growing up. You’re already feeling different about yourself, but it’s still you and will always be you.

These changes may involve new challenges at school, a move, or new tasks to tackle. I’m sure you’re going to like most of these changes, but others may be a little scary at first. Just trust that you will succeed in dealing with them. Just like what happens with me, Nature is taking its course with you. And if you do get scared, just ask one of your parents, a friend, or even me to help you through them.

In addition there are suggested activities for children to support their courage in adapting to these changes;

* Make a list of ways that you have changed in this last year, including physical changes and ways you do things differently.
* Write in your journal about how these changes make you feel.
* Take note of any positive benefits that have come from recent changes.
* Confide in your parents, a relative, or a friend about what kinds of changes are going on for you and how you feel about them.

The guidebook also offers specific ways that parents can support their child when there are major changes taking place—and often for children any change will be perceived as major!

* Help your child embrace big changes with a sense of excitement instead of fear by how you talk about it, such as, “How exciting it is for you to be going into first grade!”
* If the child is fearful, comfort them by first acknowledging their fears and then reframing the experience in more positive and life-enhancing ways.
* Tell them stories about changes you went through and how you dealt with them.
* Read stories to them or provide them when they can read about others going through changes.

No matter the degree of discomfort with the changes that are occurring, the reassurance of parents and the wisdom that Butterfly offers can help a child more easily navigate through the most challenging of transitions.

Monday, 28 January 2013 12:46 Written by Steven Farmer

Your body is designed to be responsive to your environment and will give you cues about anything in your surroundings that represent a threat or that will satisfy your basic needs, such as for food, water, and shelter. The sensations in your body are prompted by your instinctual self, that aspect that’s in service to your survival. It’s doing its very best to keep you alive—something we have in common with all animals.
Children learn through their experiences and through parental guidance what will bring pleasure and what will bring pain. For parents it’s a continual balancing act between allowing your children to take age-appropriate risks and providing for their safety. The earlier parents can encourage their children to listen to their feelings, especially their “gut instinct,” the more likely it is that they will heed these feeling sensations as teenagers and adults.

Horse spirit’s counsel in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards addresses this concern by encouraging children to trust their instinct as follows:

It’s so tempting sometimes to just go along with something. Like when a friend invites you somewhere that you know is off limits and even though it just doesn’t feel right, you ignore your true feelings and go there anyway. Other times something doesn’t feel right in your gut and so you decide to listen to your feelings, like when someone you meet makes your stomach tight or upset for no obvious reason so you keep your distance. This is often called your intuition.

On the other hand if you try something out like dance, soccer, or swimming, and it feels good, you keep at it. Regardless of whether they are good or bad feelings, listen to them. Those sensations in your body, especially in your stomach or gut, can be a clue as to what your real feelings are. They help you know what and who to avoid and what or who you can trust. The more you practice paying attention to and trusting your truest inner feelings, the more you will make the right choices.

In addition there are a few activities designed to further facilitate this message:

ACTIVITY
* In your journal write about the last time you trusted your feelings about something and you turned out to be right.
* When you’re playing any games, see if you can sense through your intuition what the next move will be or the next roll of the dice.
* To develop your intuition sit quietly out in Nature and just listen to the sounds around you as you breathe. What do you hear?
* Take responsibility for your feelings and don’t blame others.

Each of the 24 cards identifies certain values that nearly all parents would support, including this one. To further support this value of your children learning to trust their feelings, the section for parents in the accompanying guidebook offers some suggestions.

* Help them develop their intuitive skills by playing games that encourage this, such as finding something hidden, or guessing shapes or numbers on playing cards.
* Occasionally ask them what they notice is going on in their body, particularly physical sensations, as this type of awareness is an important aspect of intuition.
*Teach your child to meditate. Different techniques work better for different ages however it will begin a practice of checking within for the truth of a matter, whether about them or others.
* Teach your child to name their emotional feelings, such as mad, sad, glad, scared, etc.

By teaching your children to listen to the instinct driven sensations in their bodies, you can rest assured that they will ultimately adopt this as a test of whether a situation is safe and also help them determine those activities that will bring them pleasure and satisfaction. Even emotional feelings are based on physical sensations, so teaching them to tune in to their body’s messages helps give them the vocabulary for their emotions so they can identify and communicate these feelings much more easily and readily.

Many perceive spiritual communication first through physical sensations, such as warmth, coolness, tingling, or tensing. These may be accompanied by emotion feelings and sometimes visual and/or auditory impressions, yet these all start in the instinctual body. Being aware like this also encourages the child to be Witness to their own experience, starting with their body’s instinctual responses to the environment that can literally help them survive.    This is why it’s so important for children to learn to trust their feelings, and for you to guide them along their path to do so. If you need guidance in this, call on Horse spirit to help out in teaching this to your children and perhaps even yourself.

“Feelings are your guide. Trust your feelings and learn to express them, and do not blame anyone for how you feel. Be yourself, observe yourself.
― Barbara Marciniak

Tuesday, 12 June 2012 09:35 Written by Steven Farmer

I’ve just returned from a two-week tour of Australia and New Zealand. It was a powerful and magical journey, a tapestry of experiences that left an indelible impression on me. What I found most rewarding was the people and friends I met up with in both countries. I was humbled by the support so many offered and pleased that all my workshops and private sessions were filled long before I got there.

One experience that set the theme for the entire tour stands out. I had already presented a talk at the Mind, Body, Spirit Festival in Sydney and was prepared to go to Mysterys Bookstore in Penrith for two days of private sessions and a workshop. My friend Peter, Ravynne Phelan’s husband, had already offered to drive from their home in Penrith, which was one hour away, pick me up in Sydney where I was staying, and take me to Penrith. Up until he offered I had not been sure how I would get there, though I had considered taking either the train or a taxi as I decided not to rent a car for the trip. In addition he offered that I could stay at his and Ravynne’s house rather than return to Sydney only to come back the next day.
Since he’d arrived somewhat early I asked him if he wanted a “long black” before we headed to Penrith, which is hot water added to a double shot of espresso, He agreed, so we went to the little café next to the hotel where I stayed. I approached the counter to order breakfast—Peter had already eaten on the way here—and stood in line behind one fellow. This man walked away, slightly limping, holding onto a cane.

I noted a $20 bill on the counter and pushed it towards the clerk. She pushed it back toward me saying the man just before left it and said to pay for the next person’s order! I was rather stunned, quickly going through all of my reasons why I shouldn’t accept it. It didn’t take me long to surrender to the fact that this truly was a gift, an offering that I needed to receive gracefully and with gratitude. I ordered my meal and two long blacks and sat down at a table with Peter.

I told him what happened, both of us nodding in amazement and amusement, and wondered what was the message from Spirit. I then heard my Inner Voice: “Receive and pay it forward.” This confirmed what already had been happening evidenced by Peter’s willingness to drive me to the bookstore and his offer to stay at his place, amongst other gifts I’d received already.
I recognized it was important to maintain these principles and the attitude of gratitude for whatever gifts Life had to offer, in whatever form they were given. Following that experience at the café there were many other wonderful gifts from others, both tangible and intangible. From that day on throughout the entire trip and even now while I sit at this computer I do my best to maintain these principles and attitudes. Even a simple thank you when anyone does a small favor is important, such as waving a “thank you” to the driver that stopped to let me cross the street yesterday.

It occurred to me that by being willing to open heartedly receive from other people that it is truly a gift to he giver. I know that when someone expresses their gratitude for whatever I give them, it makes me feel appreciated and respected. When I turn that around I realize that when we receive something from someone and openly acknowledge our appreciation, the giver in turn is rewarded.
I encourage you to try this: for one day, look for every opportunity to express your gratitude and appreciation for what is offered to you, in word or in deed, whether it’s the food you eat, the sunshine you bask in, or a hug from someone you love. Especially thank the Creator of All for your life and all that you have in your life.

Tuesday, 12 June 2012 09:31 Written by Steven Farmer

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

#13 - Fox and Secret Favors

“Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find out.” —Frank A. Clark

“Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.” —Scott Adams

It’s always nice to hear positive comments when we do something for others, yet a challenge is to do these things with little or no concern or motivation for any reward other than the intrinsic good feelings that such an act can generate. This is the encouragement offered to children by the FOX card in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards.

As one personal example, there’s been a few times when going through a tollbooth I’ve paid for the next three or four cars following. There was a real pleasure in doing so, knowing that the drivers would undoubtedly be pleasantly surprised. They might even some day pay it forward by doing the same for others.

I strongly believe in acknowledging someone when they do something kind for another person, even if it’s a simple “thank you.” Children who are rewarded with encouragement in this way will ultimately internalize the good feelings that come from doing nice things for others. Fox invites the child to take it one more step and do something for another person solely for the intrinsically good feelings that come from doing so. Doing a secret favor can then become a playful and rewarding game for the child.

As Fox spirit says in the guidebook that accompanies the cards:

Sometimes people think we’re kind of sneaky, but that’s not really true. We do try to be careful about being seen because we’re sort of shy, but believe it or not, we also really like to do things for each other and for other animals. So today try and do some things without anyone knowing it’s you who’s doing it. These are called secret favors, where you don’t take credit for it or let whoever you’re doing these things for know it was you.
For instance, put the newspaper on your neighbor’s porch without being seen. Pick some apples and leave them for a friend or for your family and don’t let on that it was you who did so. Pick up some trash and put it in the recycler or trashcan. Do any of these or other things without letting people know it was you. It’s nice when others show their appreciation for what you do, but it can also be fun to do things for someone else and they have no clue that it was you who did it!

Following this reading, as with all the cards there are some specific suggestions for activities children can do to reinforce this particular value:

* Today do at least two secret favors for someone else and see how it makes you feel.
* Do a secret favor for one of your friends at school and once they notice it, don’t tell them it was you.
* Do something special in secret for one or both of your parents and again, don’t let on that it was you.

There are also suggestions for parents about ways to reinforce this kind of giving. These ideas are especially useful for parents with younger children who aren’t yet reading:

* Model this by doing a favor for someone without their knowledge.
* Leave a present on the doorstep of a neighbor, a friend, or a family member and make it anonymous.
* Take some recycled goods to any charity that will give it to the poor, explaining that whomever these go to it will be a secret favor because whoever receives it won’t know who gave it to them.

You can even can make a game of this. Try it yourself and see how you feel when you do something for someone without taking credit. There’s a quiet joy that you’ll no doubt feel, as will your child when he or she decides to do a secret favor!

“A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed.“ —Henrik Ibsen

“I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.” —Maya Angelou

Saturday, 17 March 2012 19:27 Written by Steven Farmer

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

#12 - Raccoon Spirit- You Have Everything You Need

“Everything you need you already have. You are complete right now, you are a whole, total person, not an apprentice person on the way to someplace else. Your completeness must be understood by you and experienced in your thoughts as your own personal reality.”—Wayne Dyer

“When you cannot distinguish between wants versus needs, or if you can't identify a want as a want, you set yourself up to live in a constant state of craving and disappointment.”—Unknown

Raccoons are some of the most resourceful creatures on this planet. Being very adaptable beings, they have been known to make their homes in forests, marshes, prairies, and even cities. They’re omnivores and will eat just about any thing. Raccoons have incredible dexterity with their front paws and long fingers, which enables them to easily forage so they can enjoy a variety of foods. Because of their intelligence and their remarkable adaptability, wherever they are, they readily find everything they need. Central to this is their resourcefulness, cleverness, and determination.

I had a personal demonstration of their resourcefulness. A few years back I was growing some vegetables in the backyard. To my consternation, some vegetable predator had uprooted some of the plants, obviously enjoying a meal. I wasn’t sure who or what it was but figured it wasn’t a human since the yard was fenced in.

One night I just happened to look out the back yard from the sliding glass door that allowed a perfect view and there he was—a raccoon! He glanced right at me with those eyes so perfectly outlined by a bandit’s mask, then scurried away. I knew then I had to do something to discourage this critter from ravaging my once beautiful vegetable garden

I had no desire to harm this magnificent animal, so I investigated some alternatives that were safe but would accomplish the intent. I found one that provided such a solution—a simple battery operated device that would emit a high-pitched sound that humans could not hear but raccoons would find irritating enough to avoid going anywhere near this instrument.

I enthusiastically set up two of these boxes in appropriate areas near the garden, turned them on once the sun went down and left them there for the night. The next morning I checked them first thing. With my morning cup of coffee in hand I made my way to the back yard. Much to my chagrin, both boxes had been pushed over such that the speakers from which the sound emitted were face down and a few more of my plantings had been removed for what was no doubt a tasty late night snack! They knew what they wanted and were resourceful enough to get it by first disabling the sound boxes.

This scenario was repeated twice more before I finally surrendered and took the devices to the garage, where they now have a permanent home. I finally decided that just like raccoons, I needed to be more resourceful. What did I want? I wanted them to go elsewhere to forage for grubs and vegetables. So I meditated and called on the spirit of Raccoon and asked them to PLEASE leave my garden alone.

And they did for the rest of that year.

With the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards we’ve attempted to encourage certain values in children that are conveyed through the 24 spirit animals that are represented. Raccoon spirit certainly exemplifies resourcefulness and his message in the cards also reminds children (and adults!) of the difference between wants and needs.

From the extended reading in the guidebook that accompanies the cards, Raccoon’s message is:

Wanting something and needing something are two different things. When you say, “I need that new toy,” or “I need a new lunch box,” do you really need these? I don’t think so, but I can understand that you want them. The truth is there are very few things we need. There are the basic needs that you must have to stay alive, like air, food, water, and shelter. Once these are satisfied, there are other needs, such as the need to feel safe and to feel loved. But most of the time when we talk about things we need, they’re really things we want. Something to think about.
As long as you have some of these basic needs met, you have everything you need. There are people in the world who really have to struggle to meet even those basic needs and are appreciative when they are met. So after all, how many actually need a new bike or an iTouch or the latest Wii game? Those are things you might want, but you can live without them. Unless you’re so poor that getting your meals is a problem, you really do have everything you need. From there, anything else is a “want.”

In addition there are activities that are suggested to further reinforce this message:

ACTIVITY
* Make a list of everything you can think of that you want, then go through the list and cross out anything that isn’t truly a need.
* Every day for the next few days, think of at least three things that you have for which you are grateful.
* Recall different situations where you thought you needed more than you had, but then discovered that you had all the resources available to you that you needed.
* Notice what others around you may be lacking and say a prayer for them in addition to being grateful for all you have.
* Perform a “give-away,” where you take some toys and clothes that are in good condition but that you no longer use and give them away to organizations (such as Goodwill) that can recycle them.

For parents, here are some suggestions from the guidebook to reinforce this idea:

* From time to time point out how fortunate and blessed your family is by having one another, a place to live, food to eat, good friends, etc.
* Create a family gratitude board where family members can write or draw pictures of things they are grateful for.
* Observe your own language as to when you use the words, “I need . . .” when you could more accurately state. “I want . . .”
* Explain the difference between needs and preferences and that it’s okay to prefer one thing over another but that it doesn’t mean it’s a basic need.

The intention through Raccoon’s message is to encourage children to separate what they need from what they want and appreciate that they’re fortunate to have most of their needs met and can be grateful for that. As children grasp this they begin to understand the difference between need and want and learn to utilize their resourcefulness to get those things they want while being grateful for the things they have.

"Learn to adjust yourself to the conditions you have to endure, but make a point of trying to alter or correct conditions so that they are most favorable to you."—William Frederick

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.”— Charles Darwin

Thursday, 09 February 2012 15:32 Written by Steven Farmer

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

#11 - Beaver Spirit- Do Your Chores

“Our house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy.”—Anonymous

“Said the daughter: ‘I don’t have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how.’” —Anonymous

Amongst other elements there are two areas the family unit must continually address: social needs and maintenance requirements. Social needs pertain to the way the family interacts with one another, whereas maintenance requirements involve the tasks necessary to keep the household running smoothly. It’s a constant balancing act and if there’s too much attention to one over the other for an extended period of time, the family simply doesn’t operate as well. At one extreme is the family that interacts so much that chores don’t get done and as a result the home environment suffers. On the other hand if it’s all work and no play, the needs for involvement and affiliation are adversely affected and can lead to the members feeling isolated from one another.

If you look at the various cards in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards you’ll see that these two dimensions are addressed in a variety of ways. The value of contributing to the family by doing chores is the message from Beaver spirit. The card itself shows a Beaver looking out at us, branches in hand (which he undoubtedly chewed off a tree), with the simple message, “Do Your Chores.” Beavers themselves have tightly knit family units and maintain these bonds not only through working together, but also through grooming, play and vocal communication. As Beaver said in the extended message in the guidebook for the cards:

You might have heard the expression, “busy as a beaver,” but I’m telling you we’re not always that busy. I get things done as quickly as possible and try to do my best when I have some chores to do. I don’t even think of what I do as chores, but more that I’m making important contributions to my family, friends, and to my community.
So today check with your parents or friends and see if there’s anything they want you to do. Then do what they’ve asked, do your best, and try not to look at any of these tasks as chores. Instead, think about how good it feels to help someone else out, even with easier chores like taking out the trash or drying the dishes. Especially in your family there are a lot of ways you can help out by doing different jobs. And do them with a smile.

An older child who is interested in reading this more extensive message will also find suggestions for activities that support the value of contributing to the family functioning smoothly. Parents can also guide their children in engaging in these particular activities, thereby reinforcing the importance of their contribution to the harmony of the family unit. Here are some of the possibilities:

* Look around your house and find one or two chores to do that contribute to the upkeep of the home and do them before you’re even asked.
* Finish something you started but had put aside, like writing a story or doing an art project.
* Whenever you are doing any of your chores, try to do them graciously and with a slight smile on your face knowing you are helping others.

For parents, there are additional suggestions of things they can do with their children in the guidebook to further encourage their children to contribute by doing the chores that are needed.

* When a child is given specific chores, giving them a choice can help lessen power struggles, such as, “Would you like to clean your room now or when we get home?” The implication is that they are expected to do it but still have a choice in the matter.
* Children like to help out and contribute to the family, so giving them chores that are age appropriate so that they can succeed in fulfilling them helps build their sense of responsibility, competency, their sense of community, and their work ethic.

As stated, the child should be given responsibilities that are do-able at their particular age. They should be encouraged for their efforts and not for perfection. As parents we can continue to shape the desirable behavior through encouragement and comments that acknowledge what is right about what they are doing, rather than criticism for what they are doing wrong. This supports the child’s initiative and deepens their innate desire to help out others in their family unit. 

In our household my stepdaughters Serena, 8, and Ari, 6 in addition to picking up after themselves are given responsibilities that are reasonable for their ages. After dinner, the girls alternate on different days cleaning off the dishes and placing them in the dishwasher or vacuuming the dining room. Another responsibility is on Mondays to collect the trash from around the house and put it in the larger trash bin in the kitchen. Although when these were instituted there was some grumbling and complaining, now they do these chores as expected. We make occasional requests for them to do other chores and each girl generally cooperates in doing.

Although the word “chores” can sometimes take on a heavier, more somber meaning and feeling, it can be reframed to mean an act of contribution and service such that any of us, adult or child, can view this kind of work within the family as a joy and a pleasure.


“We labor to make a house a home, then every time we're expecting visitors, we rush to turn it back into a house.—Anonymous

“A family in harmony will prosper in everything.”—Chinese Proverb

Tuesday, 31 January 2012 13:34 Written by Steven Farmer

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

#10 - Eagle Spirit - Do the Right Thing.

“When I do good, I feel good.  When I do bad, I feel bad.  That's my religion.” —Abraham Lincoln

“Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking.” —J.C. Watts

Throughout life you’re confronted with choices, some that are mundane and don’t require a tremendous amount of contemplation, such as what you’re having for breakfast or which shoe you put on first. However there are other times when you’re faced with a decision where you must weigh your choices based on an assessment of your values and priorities. Not always an easy task, particularly when values clash.

The values and priorities you have instilled that help you determine your choice are based on a synthesis of your familial and ancestral patterns, cultural and societal norms, and a sense of your soul’s purpose. How we make these decisions throughout our life changes, depending on our level of moral development. In early childhood choices are primarily based on a more primal, egocentric point of view, as in how I can benefit or else how I can avoid disapproval. That part shadows us to some degree throughout adulthood, but typically becomes a less prominent way to make these kinds of moral and ethical choices.

As you mature, consideration of the group and social norms is taken into greater consideration. Teenagers in particular begin to see the group as an anchor that provides cues as to how to socialize and develop relationships. The norm for the group, society, or culture becomes something that the individual chooses to participate in or develops their identity in opposition to the perceived norm. It’s all about figuring out the rules and choosing to adopt them, challenge them, or some combination of the two. Egocentricity becomes subjugated to the consensus of the group or to a particular segment of the larger society.

Although some people remain stuck in these earlier phases, everyone can still at times “default” to them, especially when you don’t have a clear set of personal ethics by which to gauge your choices. As you mature, your choices become driven more by an internal set of ethics and morality. Some of these accord with the rules and regulations of the larger society while others may not, but instead are congruent with a person’s values and priorities that have been formed over a lifetime.

In the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, Eagle spirit addressed these considerations in the admonition, “Do the right thing.” For the younger child, this will most likely mean making choices that meet with parental approval and avoid punishment. As the child matures, familial and group values will likely become more of a gauge by which to make these kinds of decisions. The older the child can also read the guidebook, where the extended message from Eagle encourages the child to think for herself as to what’s right or wrong in any given situation. The magic of these cards is that often this particular card will show up exactly when the child is faced with such a decision.

As Eagle’s message says in the guidebook:

As you’re growing up you will be faced with a lot of choices. Some of these will be fairly easy such as what you want for breakfast or what game you want to play with friends. Other choices will be a little more difficult, such as whether to take that piece of candy from a friend knowing that they had taken it from another person without their knowing it. Or another choice would be when some of the kids at school are teasing one of the new kids, and you don’t feel comfortable joining in the teasing but you feel pressure from your friends that are part of the teasing.
Let’s suppose your father has left a few dollar bills lying out on the kitchen table and he seems to have forgotten it’s there. Would you take them? What would be right thing to do in any of these situations? What’s the most important thing, that you have that piece of candy or refuse it because it was taken without permission? Would it more important to join in with your friends so they wouldn’t tease you or to stand up for the kid who was being teased? Or take the money on the table knowing your father wouldn’t really miss it or tell him that he left it there? I’m sure you would know the right thing to do.

In addition, activities are suggested that can reinforce the ideas generated by the message:

* Think of a time when you were faced with these kinds of choices and made the right choice, then write or draw a story about this time.
* When faced with a tough decision, stop and think about what the important adults would say about what choice to make.
* If you see somebody, even a friend, doing something wrong, especially if it may be harmful to themselves or to others, tell a trusted adult about it.
* Try your best to do the right thing in any situation even if it is scary or others may not like you.

Further, a section in the back of the guidebook not only gives general ideas as to how to help your child work with the cards, but also activities with which they can involve their children to reinforce the message in the card. For Eagle, here are some activities parents can encourage:

*Even if your child is afraid, encourage them to tell the truth and let you know when they see something that is wrong.
* Be clear with your child as to what your priorities are regarding moral and ethical values.
* Have conversations with them about what choices they would make in any situation where the choice is challenging.
*Have a posted list in the house that you create with the child of the top 5 or 10 rules expected of everyone living there.

In a world where so many choices are before us, we can only hope as parents to provide the best guidance possible that will help a child to learn to make these kinds of decisions from a solid internalized foundation of moral principles. For anyone so inclined, you can call on help from your spirit guides, but most especially from Eagle spirit.

“Live never to be ashamed if anything you say or do is published around the world, even if what is said is not true.” —Richard Bach

“If you have integrity, nothing else matters.  If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters.”  —Alan Simpson

Wednesday, 04 January 2012 10:48 Written by Steven Farmer

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

#9 - Cougar Spirit - You Can Do It!

“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”—Vincent Van Gogh

“Whether you think you can or think you can't—you are right.”—Henry Ford

How many times have you faced some challenge in spite of your fear and succeeded? How many times has that fear stopped you from even attempting to accomplish a certain task or overcome obstacles to reach a particular goal? I’m sure we’ve all had our share of both of these, yet I’ve learned it’s not so much the fear that stops us but, to paraphrase President Franklin D. Roosevelt, it’s the fear of fear that prevents us from even trying. 

Whenever you have an idea that stretches the limits of what you think you can do or who you think you are, more than likely it will arouse some deeply buried instinctual fear that is associated with the fear of survival. Your instinctual self is designed to keep you alive by alerting you to potentially life-threatening events, yet your instinct can be conditioned such that you perceive certain events to be life threatening even though in reality they’re not.

Those seemingly irrational fears are often rooted in unconscious memories of experiences where you were shamed, punished, abused, or simply had no encouragement from any significant figures in your life. Sometimes even the thought of doing certain things will activate your nervous system in an all too familiar way, making you feel anxious without having taken any action.

A good example is speaking in front of a group. In a survey done years ago people were asked what they most feared. The second thing that was most feared was death, while the first was public speaking. One conclusion is that most people would rather die than do any kind of public speaking! So even to consider doing something like this can make you break out in a cold sweat.

I know this is true from experience. I was painfully shy throughout my childhood and on into young adulthood (you can ask my older sister!). I was able to rely on my athletic abilities to achieve a modicum of confidence through high school and up to the time I finished college. Yet I knew I wanted to teach, driven by a compulsion that I now know is rooted in my soul’s destiny. I applied for a teaching position at a local community college after I received my Master of Arts in Psychology, thinking I’d be capable of teaching a course in introductory psychology. When I successfully passed the interview I was shocked when they asked me to teach assertiveness training!

Though absolutely terrified of doing so, I took action by reading as much as I could and taking an assertiveness training course over the summer. That fall I taught a sixteen week course that completely fit the adage that we teach what we need to learn. I’m sure the class was valuable for the students, yet even more so it helped me with my confidence in teaching and overcoming some of my shyness, as well as learning some valuable social skills. I went on to teach a number of other classes and workshops, joined a Toastmasters group, and with each experience I gained greater and greater confidence.

There was a book published a few years ago called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I confess I didn’t read the book because the title said it all, obviously referring to how you must confront your fears and go through them. This is what I’ve done with teaching, writing, and other experiences, and based on these, I can attest that this is what it takes to build confidence. The brilliant ad campaign for Nike was “Just Do It!” Simple as that. You can do affirmations, which can help, but it’s vital that you also take action that allows you to confront your fears.

As parents, grandparents, and mentors, we can encourage our children to take these kinds of risks. One of the intentions in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards is to provide such encouragement for a number of values that these spirit animals espouse. COUGAR spirit sums it up with the words of encouragement: “You Can Do It!” Similar to in the story of the Little Engine That Could, Cougar offers these words in the guidebook based on the card’s simple message:

There are times when you feel like no matter what you try to do you won’t be able to do it, whether it’s make something artistic, get better grades in school, or do something you have never done before. To learn and to grow you have to try new things, even if you don’t think you can do well. You have to s-t-r-e-t-c-h yourself and reach a little beyond what you think you can do. That’s sometimes the only way you can find out what you can do.
And it doesn’t matter whether or not you succeed. If not, you can at least say you tried. If you do succeed, you build more and more confidence in yourself. One of the keys is in your thinking. If you think, “Oh, I can never do this,” then you won’t even try. Or if you do try, you won’t put all your effort into it. Like The Little Engine that Could, just believe that you can do it and keep trying until you accomplish what you set out to do. When you tackle something that seems difficult or challenging, it will also help to ask for my help, and I will be there in spirit.

In addition, congruent with the idea of taking action, suggestions for children and for parents are offered things to do that can support this value and attitude:

For children:
* Whenever there’s something hard that you’re faced with, tell yourself over and over, “I can do this,” and perhaps even look at yourself in the mirror while saying it as if you’re talking to another person.
* Think of times in your life when you didn’t think you could do something but you found out you were able to do so. Write about it in your journal.
* Make a list of all the things you have accomplished in the past year and as you do, notice how you feel.

For parents:
* Gently but firmly encourage your child to do something he is afraid to do. Support them but don’t do it for them, and if they refuse, don’t force it but instead let it go.
* Model this whenever you find yourself faced with a daunting task and make sure your child witnesses you doing so or tell them about it.
* Remind your child of other times when they have conquered their fears by trying something new.
* Tell a story about a time you overcame a fear as a child and how you overcame it.

So Cougar spirit’s message is valuable for any of us, whether you’re an adult or a child. Next time you’re faced with a challenge, you have the option to heed Cougar’s words and also invite this valuable spirit guide to help you with your confidence. Thank you Cougar! Thank you God!

“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.”—Eleanor Roosevelt

Wednesday, 04 January 2012 10:43 Written by Steven Farmer

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

#8 Deer Spirit-Kindness

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible” Dalai Lama

In his last interview, Aldous Huxley, a renowned humanitarian, philosopher, and prolific author, was asked what advice he would give people just starting out. After considering this for a few moments, this very wise man said with slight embarrassment, “Try to be a little kinder.”
Those sentiments echo Deer spirit’s message in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards: “Be Kind to Yourself and Others.” Like the other 23 oracle cards in this deck, in addition to facilitating a deeper connection to Spirit and the natural world, the spirit animals represented encourage values that almost all parents would agree with and help children develop attitudes and behaviors that serve them well in getting along in the world.
As Deer spirit says in the extended message in the guidebook:

There’s something called the golden rule that you may have heard of, which says, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. Another way of saying this is that whatever you put out will come back to you. So if you’re kind to others, people, animals, and plants, then that kindness will come back to you. If you’re mean to others, then you’ll find meanness comes right back at you.
Of course there will be moments when you don’t feel so kindly toward others, but try to get back on track by doing something nice for someone. And don’t forget to be nice to yourself. If you get angry or upset with yourself, let it go as quickly as you can, perhaps by talking to a trusted adult or a friend and getting their help. This doesn’t mean you always have to be nice, but just do your best as much as you can. And don’t try to be perfect—just kind!

Further, with the support of parents there are action steps children can take, such as:

•    Today do at least two nice things for someone else and see how it makes you feel.
•    Help out your sister or brother with a chore.
•    Look for opportunities to help others out, such as helping a younger child with a task or cleaning up after others.
•    Be willing to apologize to someone if you have hurt their feelings, whether or not you meant to do so.
•    Share something with another child, such as food or a toy.

One man, Bob Votruba, has taken this message quite seriously. Two years ago he embarked from Ohio with Bogart, his Boston Terrier, on a 10-year cross-country journey dubbed “The Kindness Bus Tour” to encourage Americans to perform a million acts of kindness in their lifetime (www.onemillionactsofkindness.com ). His bus is decorated with various statements and drawings pertaining to the message. 
On his website, Bob wrote, “One Million Acts Of Kindness is a goal—a goal for each person to individually perform One Million Acts Of Kindness in their life . . . It is a constant mind-set of kindness every day of your life for the next fifty-five years . . . (It’s) a great way to create a safer, more caring world . . . Let’s start a kindness movement in this country today to change the direction this world is headed!! You are the change that this world needs.”

Perhaps, as Mr.Votruba has suggested, this coming generation will be known as the kindness generation. It’s through examples like his the message from Deer spirit, and adults who model kind words and behavior that children will learn the powerful effect kindness has on others. And as Deer spirit has suggested, it will come back to you.

“The love you take is equal to the love you make.” The Beatles

Tuesday, 03 January 2012 14:18 Written by Steven Farmer

#7 Buffalo Spirit And Gratitude

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice.” Meister Eckhart

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” William Arthur Ward

I recall years ago listening to a speaker talk about his relationship with his children. One thing he said that stood out was, “More than listening to what I say, they watch what I do!” Amongst all the other possibilities for modeling behavior and encouraging children, one that stands out is expressing gratitude as often as possible. Those two simple words—thank you—can become a healthy habit for parents and children, encouraging both to look at the proverbial glass as half full rather than half empty. Buffalo spirit in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards says it all: “Be thankful for what you have.”

Why is Buffalo spirit associated with gratitude and thankfulness? Typically an animal spirit’s “medicine” is derived from their characteristics and the message is a metaphor for the gift from the spirit animal. In the case of Buffalo, it’s gratitude. Since buffalo was the animal that was the most plentiful for the Native Americans who lived on the plains, it provided a great deal of resources for the Native Americans, food being only one. The hide was used for covering in cold weather, the skin for shelter and drums, and sinew for sewing, to name but a few examples. Every part of the animal was used and nothing was wasted. Buffalo were treated as sacred for that very reason. Great Spirit provided such an abundance of this particular animal that it gave the two-leggeds cause to be thankful.

It’s for these reasons that in the children’s cards Buffalo spirit’s message is “Be thankful for all you have” as a means of supporting gratitude as a consistent attitude. Here’s Buffalo spirit’s message in the expanded reading in the guidebook:

I’m sure there are times you find yourself wishing you had more toys, games, or the latest electronic gadgets, feeling bad because you see what the other kids have that you don’t. You might even complain about not having those things, feeling sorry for yourself that somebody has more things than you do. The more you think that way—that you don’t have enough—the more you will feel sad and grumpy and overlook all the things that you do have. Instead, for the next few days, notice all the things you have in your life that you can feel grateful for. Be thankful for the food you eat, the people that love and care for you, the books and toys you have. Be thankful for your friends, the place you live, for the trees, plants, and animals. Be thankful for how well your body works, how it keeps you alive, how it heals itself. All that you have in your life is ultimately a gift from God, so show your appreciation and gratitude by saying “thank you” as much as possible. See how much better you feel when you do.

This is a message not only for children but also for us as parents and grandparents to keep in mind, particularly since children watch how we act.

And to follow up on this, these are some activities suggested for children:

ACTIVITY

* Make it a point today to say thank you as much as you can for anything that someone does for you. Especially thank your parents for things they do for you.
* At the dinner table, invite everyone to say at least three things for which they are grateful about today.
* Write out a “gratitude list” which can be part of your journal and add at least one or two items each day.
* Throughout the day take a minute every so often, pause, breathe, and think about the things you appreciate.

One of the unique features of the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards is the section for parents, which gives guidelines for working with their children. In addition, for each spirit animal there are suggestions for parents to help encourage the spirit animal’s guidance. For Buffalo, here’s some ideas for parents.

* At the dinner table as you begin eating, have each person, including yourself, states three things for which they are grateful. These can be things that happened that day or anything else.
* Show them how to do a gratitude journal where each day they think of things that day that made them feel happy and thankful.
* Organize a give away where the child or children gather some of their toys that they are willing to give to another child less fortunate.
* Encourage them to write their own thank you notes instead of doing it for them.

Another idea would be to make it a game by setting a goal of a certain number of “thanks” each day, no matter how small the favor or gift. And no matter your circumstances, thank God for the blessings in your life every day.

Thank you Buffalo spirit! Thank you God!

Tuesday, 13 December 2011 13:57 Written by Steven Farmer

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

#6 Children, Imagination and Unicorns

“Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”        —Albert Einstein

With the creation and release of the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards a whole new vista for my work opened up, offering workshops for children and parents. So to introduce these cards I’ve so far taught two workshops on the theme with more scheduled. My wife Jessica joins me for some of these when she can. She’s the mother of two girls, Serena, eight, and Arianna, six, and is a conscientious mother who is currently writing a book on conscious parenting.

I recently completed an hour and a half workshop on the cards. It was a group of five adults and five children ranging in ages from five to thirteen—the children that is. I’m sure they all felt very supported and encouraged that their parent or grandparent was there with them.

There was healing, magic, and some powerful synchronicities. A ten year old boy we’ll call James, who had shared with the group his love for horses shuffles his deck and randomly pulls HORSE from the deck. Later on in the class he further shuffled the cards, had his mother select a card. She also pulled Horse. The message on the card from HORSE spirit said, “Trust your feelings.” Both mother and son agreed that it was a message they needed to hear.

Then there was the thirteen year old girl we’ll call Rebecca, who came with her friend and her friend’s mother. I watched in this workshop and in two subsequent workshops they attended how a spark of light gradually emerged from the expressionless look on her face, an adaptation that betrayed a likely history of childhood trauma. I have no doubt that this workshop and the others provided a strong ray of hope for her healing.

Then there was the little five year old, bright, blue-eyed, blond little girl we’ll call Sara, who came with her grandmother. She had a quiet demeanor and gentleness about her, completely present the entire class, listening intently with a very slight smile on her face the whole time. Sara looked like a very happy child.

I asked the group a few minutes into the evening what their favorite animal was. Most everyone, adult and child, shared theirs. Then Sara said something in a very quiet voice I couldn’t understand. I asked her twice to repeat herself, but it still wasn’t clear. Then Grandma translated. “Unicorn,” she said. “She’s been holding the UNICORN card since we started!”

I looked down to her hand and sure enough, there it was. This mythical creature that exists so strongly in our collective consciousness, conveying to us the message, “Use your imagination,” printed boldly across the bottom of the card. This little five year old girl knew the truth of that innately. The presence of an image of a unicorn on the UNICORN card gave her continued reassurance of that truth.

By saying that unicorns are mythical creatures is not saying they aren’t real. It’s a different reality in which unicorns exist, one in which our individual consciousness is intimately connected to the consciousness of our collective human species. Shared cultural and universal myths and stories abound in our collective consciousness. Imagination is the key to tapping into these myths and stories as well as perceiving the non-visible world of Spirit. Children inherently know the truth of this, though we risk losing touch with it as we become “adult-erated.”

Unicorn spirit through the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, has this to say about imagination:

Many people believe in my existence yet these days very few have actually seen me. Whether or not someone has seen me or even believes in me, it doesn’t matter. I know I’m real! I’m not walking around on the Earth any more as I once did, since I decided a while ago that I’d only be available by someone using their imagination. That’s where I mainly live these days—in people’s imaginations—along with other mythical beings like dragons and the phoenix.

Funny thing is, in its own way, imagination is just as real as the world you see around you! Just a different kind of reality. Everything that humans have created started with a thought
or a picture in someone’s mind, with what someone first imagined. So no matter how you do so, it’s time now to express your imaginative side in some way, whether through drawing, painting, writing, sculpting, or any other art form, And have fun doing it!

As adults it takes a child-like innocence to dip into the vast well of imagination to access this “different kind of reality.” To do so, you can always call on the spirit of Unicorn.

Tuesday, 22 November 2011 21:10 Written by Steven Farmer

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

(#5)Turtle Spirit

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” —Mohandas K. Gandhi

“For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.”—Lily Tomlin

A few years ago when I was writing my book Power Animals, I would ask the spirit of each of the 36 animals for a message, then transcribe it. I was often amazed at the wisdom of the advice that would be conveyed, as if there was a Bluetooth in my head through which each of the spirit animals dictated what I was to write.

Turtle especially came through loud and clear. When I asked what message he wanted me to communicate, he said in a very slow, deep voice, “Slow down! You’ve got all-l-l-l-l-l-l the time in the world,” stretching out the words in a delightfully slow tempo of speech. Certainly made me listen that much more closely.
Flash forward to a recent vacation we took on the Big Island of Hawaii, where for the first few days we stayed with some good friends Bill and Stephanie. I was showing them the new Children’s Spirit Animal Cards and pulled one as a demonstration, asking simply what I needed to pay attention to for this vacation. I drew the Turtle card, which had a similar message: “Take your time.” I got it immediately that this was exactly the spirit animal and message I needed for this trip.

From there it was amazing how many times Turtle showed up in either physical or symbolic form. For instance, later that same day we went to Three Rings Ranch, the home of several rescued animals, and of course, there were two turtles there. Later that day we went snorkeling and two turtles appeared, resting on the rocks near the shoreline where we were swimming.

After we returned one evening I was reading a book to Ari and Serena, and the only animal that was in the book was a turtle. When I had searched for this book earlier, another one that had fallwen off the bookshelf was one of my favorites: Old Turtle. I’m not sure omens get any clearer than this! So even today I feel the presence of Turtle spirit and am continually reminded to slow down and take my time, to not get too caught up in the “hurry up sickness” that is so endemic to contemporary society.

The sage advice from Turtle spirit is captured in his words from the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, followed by some suggestions to support taking your time:

So many people are in a hurry these days that it is easy to forget to slow down and enjoy whatever is happening. You remember the story of the Tortoise and the Hare? Going faster doesn’t always get you where you are going any more than taking your time and going at your own pace. It also takes courage at times because there are so many rabbits running around like crazy! Just know you will get there just as quickly by going at your own speed and at your own rhythm no matter how quickly others move.

And don’t be in such a hurry to grow up too fast! You may find yourself wanting to do things the older kids are doing, or wanting to learn everything NOW. Know that over time you will learn everything you need to learn, so just take your time with each new thing you’re learning instead of rushing off to something else or being upset because you can’t accomplish more. It takes time to learn things, and you really have all the time in the world, so slow down and only move fast when you actually have to.

ACTIVITY
* Today walk a little bit slower than usual, breathing deeper and slower than usual in rhythm to your stride. Notice how that makes you feel.
* When you get involved with a project of any sort, take as much time as you need to complete it even if it extends over a few days (unless of course it’s homework that is due tomorrow!)
* Ask your mother or father to spend a few hours at the park or beach with no watches or clocks around to remind you of the exact time.
* Observe how the moon changes slowly over a period of about four weeks, since it takes its time doing so.

So try some of these out and see what happens. I’ve noted that when I heed Turtle’s advice I still get done what I need to, but stay calm and centered while doing them. I also take time to go outside whenever I can, even in the middle of writing projects that require continual focus. And life really is too short to make anything a bigger deal than it really is!

“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” —Will Rogers

Tuesday, 25 October 2011 11:14 Written by Steven Farmer

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

"When we love unconditionally, with our hearts wide open, we
feel joyfulness."—Arnold Patent

"Joy is the infallible sign of the Presence of God."—Rev. Joyce

Hummingbird’s Power: Joy and Sweetness

I was coming to the back yard by a side route, a passage along the house that requires you to go through two gates to get to the back yard and my office. My office is in a separate unit, a one room “mother-in-law” unit as they’re called here in Laguna Beach. This one though, has become my office.

I was feeling preoccupied with weighty matters, such as what to post on Facebook, what time I should go exercise, etc., my brow furrowed. I was about to go through the second gate when it occurred to me that maybe all this stuff about 2012 and global warming would come true. Maybe I should be more worried. I was feeling pretty solemn.

Then as I opened the gate, there just a few feet from me, hovering as if she’d been waiting for me, was the hummingbird who told me her name was Heather. I heard it in my mind, knowing it was her spirit that was speaking to me, passing along a message. I couldn’t help myself. Immediately I broke out in a big grin, said, “Hello Heather,” and heard her gently chide me for being so morose.

I recalled the image of Hummingbird in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, receiving her nourishing nectar from a bright red flower, her wings in stop motion, and the simple message that she was conveying: Cheer Up! It’s hard not to smile when encountering this tiny yet powerful being!
Here is the extended message from the guidebook that accompanies the cards:

There are days when you’ll find yourself in a bad mood or just feeling kind of cranky, and nothing seems to make you feel better. The first thing you should always do is check to see if you’re wearing your H.A.T. In other words, whether you’re Hungry, Angry, or Tired—H.A.T. If any of these are true, do what you can to take care of these first. Doing so will help you get out of a bad mood.

Get some good nutritious food if you’re hungry; talk to someone about your anger if that’s the case; or get some rest if you’re tired. Take care of what you need first, then try smiling a little bit and then focusing on all the good things that are in your life. It’s amazing how when you smile at others they usually will smile back with the both of you feeling a little bit better—and might even make you feel happy and cheerful! 

ACTIVITY

* Try a “Dolphin smile,” where you turn the outer edges of your lips up just a bit, stand up straight, and check out how you feel when you do.
* Whenever you’re feeling low be sure to take care of your H.A.T. first and then see how that affects your mood.
* Do something silly or goofy just for the fun of it.
* If you’re in a bad mood, talk with a family member or friend about what’s bugging you.

If you’re ever feeling low, sad, or depressed, first take Hummingbird’s advice and take care of yourself by eating, resting, or expressing your anger with words to someone who can simply listen. Then try this simple meditation. Close your eyes, feet flat on the floor, and breathe a little deeper and slower than you typically do. In your mind’s eye bring in an image of a hummingbird. Keep your breathing slow, deep, and steady. Simply observe this little being and see how it feels in your body.

If you want to take this a step further, you can ask Hummingbird spirit for advice. Once you’ve asked, pay attention to whatever happens after: what you see, what you hear, and what you feel. You’ll be delighted with the response you get!

Thursday, 13 October 2011 10:24 Written by Steven Farmer

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

"Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it." —Michael Jordan

Elephant’s Message: You Can Overcome Any Problem

The image of Elephant in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards shows a single elephant with a joyous look on her face. Her trunk is raised in a gesture of trumpeting, as if she’d just overcome some unseen adversity—which is the message of this particular card. Given that the elephant is the largest and one of the strongest land mammals walking on the Earth today, it’s safe to say that there are few if any obstacles the elephant could not overcome! Given their size and bulk it’s also no wonder that they have very few natural enemies.

It’s inevitable that we all will confront obstacles in our lives, and an extra boost of encouragement can help us summon up enough courage and persistence to tackle them. We may even realize after surmounting these obstacles that they weren’t as difficult as we had first imagined. How many times have we stretched ourselves to take on a task that was scary and in doing so increased our confidence?

Events such as the first day of school, moving, or things we want to achieve may all seem impossible when first considered. It’s only later when we look back that we realize that in our life we have overcome many obstacles. In fact, you would not be who you are today if you had not encountered some difficulties and challenges that you successfully conquered through your determination.

As Elephant Spirit says in the guidebook accompanying the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards:

I’m sure sometimes you feel like you’re faced with what seems like insurmountable problems. You had some trouble in one of your subjects at school, one of your parents got upset with you, a friend you usually play with for some reason didn’t want to hang out with you today, you’ve lost something and just can’t seem to find it. Whether it’s one particular problem or one of those times when it seems like nothing is going right, it can be quite overwhelming. When you’re overwhelmed it’s hard to think straight or figure out what to do.

So first thing is, pause for a few minutes, take some deep breaths, tell yourself, “I am relaxed” as you breathe. Remind yourself that most problems you face are not as big as you think they are, and that you have a number of resources that can help solve just about any problem.

The first resource to turn to are your parents and other trusted adults. If it helps to solve the problem, you can use the Internet and books to research ways other people have solved similar problems or specific steps to take to resolve the situation. But you must strongly believe that you can solve the problem. Just remember that you don’t have to go it alone.

ACTIVITY

* When confronted with a difficult challenge, repeat the phrase, “I can do it!” several times and feel what happens in your body before and after.
* Find the good things that came out of facing and solving a problem and write one or two of those down in your journal.
* If you’ve tried solving the problem by yourself but haven’t done so, before you give up completely, ask for advice or help from a relative or friend.

If you start to feel overwhelmed when faced with a difficult task, take a time out. Walk away from it, stretch your limbs, go outside, and as Elephant spirit said, breathe! Even a few minutes can make you feel refreshed and ready to face it again. Often what appear to be obstacles dissolve in the face of your resolve and determination. 

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.” Booker T. Washington

Sunday, 11 September 2011 19:10 Written by Steven Farmer

Column #2

(This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These first few columns will focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.)

SWAN SPIRIT

SWAN’S MESSAGE: You Are Beautiful Just as You Are

“Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” —Kahlil Gibran

The image of Swan in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards gliding along the water so gracefully and peacefully immediately evokes a feeling of beauty in action. The message on the oracle card itself—“You are beautiful just as you are”—can serve as a reminder from Swan Spirit of the true meaning of what beauty is.
For any child (or any adult for that matter) there are undoubtedly periods where their self-esteem is being challenged. Whether due to dramatic changes taking place at the child’s particular developmental stage, the karmic soul pattern they brought into the world, or that they’re simply having a bad day, the cards can be a tool to provide guidance from spirit that can help provide better understanding and a new perspective on their feelings.

The collaboration between the child’s subconscious need and Spirit’s response through any of the twenty-four cards may result in Swan being the card that is chosen. The magic of these cards is in the way that the right message is typically delivered by the appropriate spirit animal at the right time. For instance, when the child draws Swan, they are encouraged to see the deeper beauty in themselves and in the world around them. And in fact, the child (or the parent on behalf of the child) can call on Swan spirit whenever they’re feeling “ugly” in any way.

For the younger child the image itself may be just enough to lighten the mood, whereas the child who can read may choose to read the message on the card or continue on to the expanded reading in the guidebook. Parents can also support this message by joining in with their child as they work with the cards, as there is also a section in the accompanying guidebook that offers suggestions for parents. If their child is not yet reading, they may read the expanded message to them.
Here’s expanded message from SWAN spirit from the guidebook:

There’s a saying that says, “beauty is only skin deep”—which means it’s just on the surface—but it really goes much deeper than that. No matter how you look, it’s how you feel inside that really counts. There will be days that no matter what you do you will feel like the ugly duckling, but it’s especially important on those days—as well as others—to let your spirit shine through like a light from inside. That way you bring this inner beauty out to the world.
One way to help your inner light shine is to be grateful for all that you have, while another is to compliment (or say nice things) to others. Try and make them smile. It will feel good to do so, and when you feel good, it’s natural to shine. Others will be affected such that they will feel beautiful too! So simply know that you are beautiful just as you are, and in knowing and accepting that, there’s great beauty.

In addition to the expanded reading for each spirit animal, along with the reading there are suggestions for activities that will reinforce the message itself. Here are the suggestions for Swan:

* Write in your journal about what special gifts or talents you have that you are proud of.
* Let your mother or father know at least two things that you like about yourself.
* Imagine there’s a beautiful light inside you that sparkles even more when you smile and share that feeling with others.
* In your own mind or even out loud, repeat the phrase, “I am beautiful just as I am” a few times each day.
* Notice the beauty all around you, in other people, animals, plants, and other parts of Nature.

Although written with the child in mind, I’m sure all of us from time to time can benefit from this kind of perspective! Thank you, Swan spirit! Thank you Creator!

 

Tuesday, 28 June 2011 11:25 Written by Steven Farmer

BLOGS based on Children’s Spirit Animal Cards

(This is first in a series or blogs based on the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards)

Although there’s a plethora of various oracle cards available, the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards are the first and only of their kind. The inception of this idea began with a conversation with Jesseca in mid-2009. We were looking through my Power Animal and Messages from Your Animal Spirit Guides oracle cards when she said, “I’d like to see something like this for children.” Like all things that manifest, it starts with an idea. I’d even say this one was inspired.

So I took the idea to one publishing house, but since their children’s products are few and far between and don’t sell that well, they rejected the idea. One day I was talking with Karen Stuth, co-owner of Satiama, a fairly new resource for spiritual and metaphysical products and service, and mentioned the idea of children’s spirit animal cards. She was enthused and immediately on board, delighted to have this be the first publication of this relatively new company.

From there, Jesseca and I had several discussions and brainstorming sessions. We realized that in the guidebook that would accompany the cards, it would be critical to have a section for parents so they can work with their children in using the cards. It was also important to recognize the purpose for doing these, which became evident. Almost all children love animals, so this would be a way to introduce children to the concept that sometimes these animals can serve as spirit guides to help them with guidance and support.

Karen helped us in our search for the perfect illustrator and after a few trials, found one in Pamela Anzalotti. The messages on the cards themselves are clear, simple, and straightforward, with elaboration in the guidebook for children who can read. We included activities that supported the message and as well, for the parent’s section, activities they can do with or for their children that supported the message.

As Jesseca wrote in the parent’s section:

 

In order to foster the imagination and creativity of the young child, it is important that they stay connected to the earth in order to maintain a grounded foundation. In addition, cultivating an intrinsic sense of intuition based on “gut” feelings is crucial in a world overloaded with information that more often adds to one’s confusion than alleviates it. It is the intention of these cards to facilitate both a connection to the Earth and her elements and a connection to Spirit through intuition, imagination, reverence and ritual.

The evolution of human consciousness is showing up in the children that are being born and raised today and we can only imagine how this evolution will continue in the next several generations. Through the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards we aim to foster and support these changes to allow children to “be” who they truly are and come to know a greater intimacy with the Earth and all her children.

 

 

Friday, 17 June 2011 15:36 Written by Steven Farmer

Cartwheels. All the time. She tries different variations of these cartwheels along with handstands and jumping from the couch, much to her mother’s consternation, flipping over and landing on her feet. At least most of the time she lands on her feet, though she slips occasionally. Has a few bumps and bruises from her efforts. She once did 100 cartwheels in a row. I know. I counted.

I’m talking about my 6 year old stepdaughter and budding gymnast, Arianna Hope Camacho, Jesseca’s youngest girl. She’s a little tyke, full of energy, usually wakes up with a smile and always has something to say, even before we have had our morning coffee. Her energy astounds us and we’re all thankful that she has the outlet of gymnastics and all of us—her father, stepmother, me and of course her mother—encourage her. She’s enrolled in two gymnastic classes per week and I’m sure she’d do one every day if she could. She’s a natural.

In addition she’s been playing piano. Takes a bit for her to focus and she gets frustrated easily but stays with it and feels very proud when she can complete an assignment. Recently it was “The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round.”

Serena, my 8 year old stepdaughter, has an acting career ahead of her. Or perhaps a career as a director. She’s taken two drama courses, each one ending with a performance. She was in “Alice In Wonderland” and just recently completed “Beauty and the Beast,” and had a few roles in each of these. The teacher commented later that Serena would probably be a director because she seemed to know everyone’s lines and where they were supposed to be on stage. She does have an amazing memory for details and is always curious about things, asking why things are the way they are and how things work.

Her other talent is art. She’d taken a few art classes and one of her pieces was chosen for an art show exhibited at one of the local major shopping malls. Quite an honor, and she was very humble about it. When I saw it at the show, a charcoal rendering, I was quite impressed and frankly a bit surprised at how good it was. It was beyond my expectations and truly deserved to be a part of that show. Serena has also taken to reading lately, enjoying the power of being able to decipher these symbols we call letters and words.

It’s our intention with both girls to support their soul’s path as it reveals itself. I’ve always taken to a book by James Hillman called The Soul’s Code, wherein he uses the analogy of an acorn and an Oak tree, that the acorn has within its make up the blueprint for the mighty Oak. Although genetics and environmental factors certainly account for some of the influences, his premise is that the person’s soul itself has an imprint, even to the point of making the choice of parent or parents that he or she will come through. He terms this a myth, describing it not as a truth or theory that has to be proven, but instead it’s “a way of thinking or reflecting about life.”

In an interview about the book, Hillman talks about how the soul “grows down”: “The myth states the roots of the soul are in the heavens, and the human grows downward into life. A little child enters the world as a stranger, and brings a special gift into the world. The task of life is to grow down into this world. Little children are often slow to come down.”

He further asserts that from this perspective, although the parents’ roles are important, our primary instrument of fate is not our parent’s. He states, “Of course, parents have a strong role. The myth itself says that the soul chose your particular parents, and so they are part of your destiny, whether you experienced a lack of parenting, peculiar parenting, single parenting, or adoptive parenting. But that’s not the be-all and end-all of existence. We overload parents today, as if they owned and were totally responsible for their children’s entire fates (italics mine) . . . It doesn’t relieve them of responsibility, but it unburdens them of carrying the child’s destiny.”

Phew! I recall when I first read this a few years ago I felt relieved that in spite of my flawed parenting with my now older daughters, that they had their own destinies to fulfill and that I was an agent assigned to support those destinies. They are now beautiful adults, and I clearly see how they are honoring their soul’s path. As I reflect on their childhood I can see in retrospect how they were moving towards who they are today.

With our children, in addition to meeting their basic needs, it’s important to recognize that their souls in their “growing down” as Hillman describes it, carry the basic imprint of their destiny. We as parents can do our utmost to discern this and support it by offering our children opportunities that we surmise to in alignment with their unfoldment, whether its cartwheels or directing a play. In addition to meeting the child’s basic needs as a fundamental purpose of parenting, we can look for the clues that tell us how we can nurture the gifts that the child has come into this world with. Not always an easy task, but when we accept that the child has their own unique path, it can help us know how to best nurture that path.

. . . and there goes Ari doing cartwheels and Serena giving directions. Obviously expressions that will continue to develop as these beautiful girls grow.

Wednesday, 04 May 2011 09:10 Written by Steven Farmer

In light of the recent death of Osama Bin Laden and the variety of reactions it has triggered, I find myself overwhelmed by the continual reporting of details and analyses such that I have to ignore much of it, As I contemplate these events, somewhat surprisingly John Lennon’s song Imagine comes to mind, in particular this verse:

Can you imagine this? Is it hard to do? Or do you scoff and think that it’s just the vision of a crazy idealistic dreamer who was preoccupied with love and peace, spouting notions that are naïve and simplistic? There’s definitely a part of me that would like to see us all hold hands and sing peace songs with the hope that the power generated would overcome war, killing, greed, etc. Given the onslaught of depressing news these days, it takes a sort of blind innocence to even consider these possibilities.

As much as I love this song (as I do most of Lennon’s work) and the sentiments it expresses, there still resides in me a part that is quite cynical and at times despondent of our human nature. Though I choose not to dwell on these thoughts, I confess that there are times when these thoughts and feelings overtake me. To shake them off, I will play my guitar, go outside, or seek out my wife Jesseca for a hug and a few moments of solace and comfort that any of these can afford.
I’m reminded of a Cherokee Legend of which you may be familiar. Yet it is always worth recounting, particularly now. This version is closer to the original and is called “Grandfather Tells,” also known as “The Wolves Within.” It goes like this:

An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, "Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times."

He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing.

Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."  The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"
The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, "The one I feed."

So which one will you feed?

Friday, 22 April 2011 11:31 Written by Steven Farmer

As the weather warmed here in Southern California I started feeling the tug to get some planting done. Last year we had planted some vegetables and got to enjoy fresh tomatoes, cucumbers, broccoli and lettuce, so we all wanted to reap the harvest directly from our backyard once again. I wanted to include my stepdaughters Serena (7 ½) and Ari (5 1/2) in the planting and nurturing, and hopefully also get Jesseca to put her hands in the dirt and join us.

The children are often busy after school so it left very little daylight or time to do the planting altogether. However when daylight savings time came there was magically more light in the later afternoon and early evening, so I figured we could get going on the planting, do some late in the afternoon then more a couple weeks later.

We had a great time and both girls were quite enthusiastic about it, reminding me of what the result was last season and anticipating what these tiny seeds and plants would eventually yield. I convinced Serena, our budding Diva to take her shoes off and put her feet in the dirt. She’s a bit more oriented to staying clean and being fashionable, but eventually relented and off came the flip-flops. Ari on the other hand often leaves her shoes off whenever she can and loves to play in the dirt.

We partitioned the sections of the yard where the plants would go and each girl went to work by taking turns digging the holes where the seedlings would go. Assuming Mother Earth is kind and we take proper care of the plants, we should see an abundant yield of tomatoes, some chili peppers, cumbers, soybeans, and lettuce in the near future.

It was delightful to coach the children in this often overlooked miracle of how these plant beings provide for us. It gives the children an opportunity to discover more about where our food actually comes from and also builds a relationship between themselves and those that we planted and Mother Earth.

Just a couple of days ago I talked with them about the fairies and how they help the plants and animals. I suggested that we make an offering to the fairies as a means of thanking them. So we put some honey nut Cheerios in a bowl and they took turns placing three cheerios by each plant. Every time they did, I told them to thank the fairies for taking good care of the plants, which they did.

The next morning they went to check and found some of the cheerios gone. Serena asked if I had taken them, which I had not, and I told her no. I’d told them both that the fairies may not always actually eat the food that’s offered, but they enjoy the taste and smells and appreciated the fact that we were thanking them. This makes the commonplace miracle of growing seeds and seedlings into edible, nutritious, and delicious vegetables even more magical!

And so far, those plants are looking mighty good! Oh and we did get Jesseca’s hands in the dirt, briefly.